Seeing myself through someone else's eyes

I've found few things are more surprising than a different perspective.
I know a girl, while she will remain unnamed, I'm sure one or two of you will know who she is. I was always was so jealous of her as I grew up. Although she was dear to me, she always seemed better. And if I did better than her on anything, it seemed a fluke, or possible my ONE redeeming talent. Sometimes. She always seemed the prettier one, the nicer one, the more righteous one, the more talented one, the better one. Even another friend would say things like, oh, well we will never be as pretty/talented/good/etc as "____". A second opinion confirmed a thought, right?
It was not until years into our friendship that I discovered her thoughts. She sometimes thought she was plain next to me.
But how is that possible?
I was the one who was below her, wasn't I? I wasn't as pretty or talented, what did she have to be jealous of? I was very confused, and I was shocked. How could she have these thought when she was obviously the better one?
Like I said, few things are more surprising than a different perspective.
Too many of us spend our time comparing ourselves to others. We degrade ourselves believing to be less than another person, and all the while, they may be doing the same.
If we both believe the other to be better, who is right?
I don't think it's a matter of better or worse, everyone is different. It's been a while since I worried too much about what others think about me in most cases. Yes, there are definitely areas where I compare and I feel self-conscious, but overall, I have learned that comparing yourself to others is a pointless endeavor that results in nothing but false perception. Either you think you are higher than someone or beneath them, you rarely see yourself, or the other person accurately. Not only are you judging yourself, but you also are proclaiming yourself worthy to judge others. Is that right?
I think that we all need to take a minute and look at ourselves and who we are comparing ourselves against. It is just a crutch that we can hide behind instead of looking at ourselves and becoming better. It hinders our relationships with those we compare ourselves to, and it hinders our relationships with others in general because of our incorrect self-perception. Is it worth it?
I don't think so.

New apartment, new life...

Back from Washington meant two things.

a. Job Hunt

1. Pain

2. Misery

3. Potential Death

b. New Apartment

1. Unknown.

Not sure which was scarier.

Well, now I'm all settled at Raintree, and I've made a few friends... I'm definitely not in Heritage anymore. I am hoping that most of you caught the Wizard of Oz reference there. It's very different, and I'm definitely still adjusting.

My job hunt was fruitful. I am now working at Tophams Tiny Tots in Orem. It is basically a nursing home for mentally and physically handicapped children and young adults. I have the PM shift, so I help with PM goals, activities, dining, and bathing/bedtime. It's a lot of hard work, and some days are better than others, but I just started, so I think it will get a little easier as I get more used to it.

I really don't do much with my life right now other than work, sleep, eat, and go hot tubbing and swimming. Hopefully this will change soon, but until then, life is good, I guess. :)

My life as it is now...

So I realize it's been eleven months since I've posted, and ten months since I came to college, but I do regularly update things on Facebook, that should count for something right? Well, I'll give a really quick update about the past few months, but I figure I'll post more about what's going on right now.

So, I've been at BYU since June 2009. Since then, I've gone Summer term, Fall semester, and I'm now on the last week of Winter semester. I was accepted into my major--Communications with a Public Relations emphasis--this past February.

Now I know that a couple of you have been wondering about Brian, the guy in my profile picture on Facebook. We've been dating for just less than a month, he's from South Jordan, and he's a Physics major with an emphasis on Astronomy. Also, a total nerd. Now before any of you get any crazy ideas in your head, he is nineteen; therefore, he still needs to go on a mission.

So, I'm in the middle of finals week right now. I've taken my Living Prophets final, my Market Management final, and my World Civ. through 1500 final. I still have Book of Mormon 2 and Econ 110. Those are for Monday, then I am going to pack it up, spend my last couple of days with my roommate Brianna, her boyfriend, Lyndon, and Brian. On Thursday I am headed to Washington with Brianna, which I am SO excited for. Her parents will be out of town for a week, and I'm playing chauffeur, she's legally blind, so she doesn't have her license. So we get to hang out, and I'll drive her siblings to school.

After that, I'll be moving into my new apartment off campus. I'm taking a break from classes until Fall, which is when I get to have SO much fun with my PR classes.

Anyway, I don't have much more to say, so I'll post a few pictures.

Me and My roommate Tessa

Nick, Corrine, Sarah (My RA), Jenna, Brian, Daniel, Cameron, Me

Ben, Jeremy, Jasmin, Me, Joseph, some girl I don't know, Lyndon

Brian and me at a Ward Activity

Robert and I at Jump On It with friends

Brianna *the girl I am going to Washington with* and me

Me with my friend Ben Issa at Divine Comedy

Summer roommates: Standing: Lesley, Ashley, Mackenzie, Me Sitting/Laying: Sydni, Shelby

Last day in Summer Me, Ashley, Lesley, Mackenzie, Sydni

Summer FHE group. Back starting with the guy whose arms are weird, Jeff, James, Chad, Devin (hiding behind Alex), Alex Middle: Lesley, Shelby, Ashley, Mackenzie Front: Sydni, Me

Summer roomies being spies with a ransom note: Shelby, Lesley, Me, Ashley, Mackenzie, Sydni

I'll post more pictures and maybe a few fun stories later. :)

MORP--End of Year Update #3

MORP--Prom backwards, a girls choice dance, casual.
Sorry, no pictures...

I wasn't planning on going to MORP for three reasons
(a) It was really close to Prom, and I did not realize that it was coming up so soon.
(b) I didn't have a group, or a date for that matter, and it was less than a week before.
(c) I didn't really want to pay for it.

However, I am Peer Tutor, which means I have a class where I help out with the special needs students. I am in the cooking period with them actually, so I get to help them cook. I LOVE the class. It is so much fun, and the kids are amazing. I found out that they were going to MORP, and they needed Peer Tutors to go with them. We got into the dance for a discounted price because we weren't taking dates, and we went out to Fat Jack's for pizza. It was so much fun!! The theme was super heroes, and one of the girls dressed up as Kim Possible. She looked great!! We had such a fun time. It was probably the most I have ever danced at a school dance, and let me tell you, it was a work out!! One of the boys liked it when we all joined hands in a circle and ran around and around. Another one pretty much refused to dance for the first half, but eventually we got him to dance. It was a blast, and I am really happy that I went.

AP Testing End of Year Update #2

Warning, there are no pictures in this post, and I understand if you skim.
Okay, so I am usually not the person who freaks out over tests. I go ballistic over projects, but tests are no problemo for me anyway. However, a three hour test, two of which are spent writing essays, seemed slightly overwhelming to me. A two hour Psychology test freaked me out even more because I didn't feel as prepared. I will document the experiences in two orderly paragraphs.
AP English Literature and Composition was a class that we endearingly called AP English, The Heart of Darkness, and many other terms. I have very ambivalent feelings about that class. On one hand, that class was more work than I even want to think about. I probably wrote 9.89373832 billion essays in that class. We analyzed ever piece of literature that we read to DEATH. I have a very comprehensive knowledge about Shakespeare's Macbeth now, considering I wrote around six to seven essays on it. Mrs. Earl was pretty tough on us taht way. However, by the time it came to take the test, I wasn't stressing out while I was taking it. Writing three essays in two hours? Meh, more of an annoyance than a reason to freak out. I really learned to whip out a decent essay in that class in a very short amount of time. I loved the actual class though. We have a ton of fun together, and we have a bunch of inside jokes about EVERYTHING. For any of you 2008-2009 AP English kids that may some day read this, You wanna ride bikes?
AP Psychology was a really interesting. Coach Rockwood made it way fun, but still taught us a lot at the same time. It was really cool to learn about how my brain & mind work. We learned about different psychologists, and I decided that Freud was CRAZY! Wayne Robbins and I were study buddies in that class. I honestly and truly believe I would not have done as well without him in the class, thanks Wayne!! I don't know how well I did on the test, but the multiple choice part seemed a lot easier than the practice tests I took. Maybe that was just becauseI was crazy, and I really missed everything. I guess I will find out in July!! Overall, I really, really enjoyed the class, adn I hope I did well on the test.