Thursday, July 15, 2010
Seeing myself through someone else's eyes
I know a girl, while she will remain unnamed, I'm sure one or two of you will know who she is. I was always was so jealous of her as I grew up. Although she was dear to me, she always seemed better. And if I did better than her on anything, it seemed a fluke, or possible my ONE redeeming talent. Sometimes. She always seemed the prettier one, the nicer one, the more righteous one, the more talented one, the better one. Even another friend would say things like, oh, well we will never be as pretty/talented/good/etc as "____". A second opinion confirmed a thought, right?
It was not until years into our friendship that I discovered her thoughts. She sometimes thought she was plain next to me.
But how is that possible?
I was the one who was below her, wasn't I? I wasn't as pretty or talented, what did she have to be jealous of? I was very confused, and I was shocked. How could she have these thought when she was obviously the better one?
Like I said, few things are more surprising than a different perspective.
Too many of us spend our time comparing ourselves to others. We degrade ourselves believing to be less than another person, and all the while, they may be doing the same.
If we both believe the other to be better, who is right?
I don't think it's a matter of better or worse, everyone is different. It's been a while since I worried too much about what others think about me in most cases. Yes, there are definitely areas where I compare and I feel self-conscious, but overall, I have learned that comparing yourself to others is a pointless endeavor that results in nothing but false perception. Either you think you are higher than someone or beneath them, you rarely see yourself, or the other person accurately. Not only are you judging yourself, but you also are proclaiming yourself worthy to judge others. Is that right?
I think that we all need to take a minute and look at ourselves and who we are comparing ourselves against. It is just a crutch that we can hide behind instead of looking at ourselves and becoming better. It hinders our relationships with those we compare ourselves to, and it hinders our relationships with others in general because of our incorrect self-perception. Is it worth it?
I don't think so.I've found few things are more surprising than a different perspective.